Advertisements

Tag Archive: Doom


        

It’s like the Canadian band Barenaked Ladies said in their hit song:  It’s all been done before.

But of course it hasn’t.

We sometimes tell ourselves that when we run out of ideas.  But just as much as there are always going to be millions more stories for writers to tell, there are stories out there already created that are waiting to reach a new audience.  Stories we love, but stories that we’d really love to see transformed into another medium– onto the TV or silver screen.  These are the film adaptations.  And they are a key part of movies of any genre.  The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences even has their own Oscar for adapted screenplay that often coincides with the Best Picture winner.

What are your favorite stories?  Have they all been made into movies?  Do you wish that any of them would be turned into a movie?  Do you wish most of them hadn’t been made into movies?  What stories would you like to see that have not yet been adapted to film?

You can adapt anything into a movie if you’re creative enough.  The biggest source for adaptations are books.  The result?  Some are good (Jaws, Godfather, To Kill a Mockingbird, Jurassic Park) and some bad (like every live action film based on Dr. Seuss/Theodor Geisel, who must be turning in his grave at what happened to his franchise after his death), or even hopelessly bad (like The da Vinci Code, which should probably not have merited a novel in the first place).   A painting by Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer inspired a novel and then a film adaptation—The Girl with a Pearl Earring.  The movie Ever After takes a fairy tale and merges it with a painting of Leonardo da Vinci’s Head of  Woman to create both a retelling and an alternate history of sorts, placing Leonardo himself in the middle of the fairy tale.

The Phantom of the Opera was turned from a theatrical musical into a movie (and even the reverse happens, as Sunset Boulevard went from film to musical).  The video games Tron, Doom, Resident Evil, and Tomb Raider all have been adapted into movies (how about Pitfall?).  Even the Parker Brothers games Clue and the Milton Bradley game Battleship have been adapted into film (wouldn’t it be great to try again with the characters in Clue?).

Wait long enough and even classic TV gets made into movies, like The Dukes of Hazzard, The Addams Family, The Brady Bunch, and the new Johnny Depp adaptation of Dark Shadows.  Last week the BBC reported that Bob Dylan’s album Blood on the Tracks is currently being made into a movie (and the album itself was even inspired by the short stories of Anton Chekhov), and the story of the song Amazing Grace (with Ioan Gruffudd and Benedict Cumberbatch) hit theaters only a few years ago.  Then there are adaptations of a writer’s angle on some famous or infamous figure in real life, like Schindler’s List—the biopic or historical adaptation is everywhere–but usually starts with the novel.  And even newspaper articles can end up as the original source for an award winning film, like All the President’s Men.  Certainly last but not least, comic books and graphic novels are the current rage, with movies adapted from Road to Perdition to Cowboys & Aliens to the soon to be released Avengers.

Source material for film adaptations is virtually unlimited.

We’ve asked our four borg.com writers not what the best adaptations are, but instead what are their picks for what should be the next adaptation from Hollywood.  What are the top 5-10 books, comic books, video games, or characters, etc. you’d like to see adapted into a movie—that haven’t been adapted yet?  We’ll start with Art Schmidt’s take on would-be adaptations tomorrow.

Advertisements

By Art Schmidt

People are funny.  Different things mean different things to us all: songs, pictures, movies, books.  Art.  It’s all interpreted by the individual, but even more so by the place in life that the individual is in at the time the art is experienced.  People cling to old songs like gold; a song from high school not only sounds good, but refreshes the happy memories associated with the song in the listener’s mind.  A one-hit wonder band from the mid-eighties may have written the best song you’ve ever heard, but no one else even remembers who they were.

Fans of the original Star Wars Trilogy of the 70s were appalled when Lucas made his infamous modifications to the film, especially the scene in the Tatooine bar in Episode IV where Han Solo shoots Greedo.  ‘Artistic license,’ said Lucas.  ‘Blasphemy,’ the fans screamed.  ‘My movie,’ Lucas retorted.  ‘Our childhood!’, the fans wailed.

Halloween always brings out the focus on all things macabre, and will generate ‘Top 10’ lists as long as kids dress up as Darth Vader and adults go to costume parties as politicians (there’s a moral lesson in there somewhere, BTW.  I am sure of it).  Every Top 10 list is different, and that’s the way it should be.  We all experience things in our own way, our own time, and through our own filters.  So rather than attempt to list an absolute ‘Top’ 10, predestined for failure, I have listed my own personal favorites.  Doubtless others will have vastly different opinions, and some of the things I found terrifying may have barely elicited a small gasp from others.

And that’s ok.

My personal list is not in order of preference or fondness but rather experience, from my earliest memory to the present day.  Obviously, my early years contain the larger amount of my personal favorites; the younger we are the more accepting we are of the impossible and the more susceptible to suggestion, therefore media designed to have a strong emotional impact will generally be felt more so by the young.  After all, you can only read a Stephen King novel for the first time, or watch Jaws without knowing what’s going to happen once.

Which of course leads me to one of the stories on most people’s lists…

Jaws (Movie)

The movie that changed movies, the blockbuster that defined blockbusters, the summer event movie on which the term ‘summer event movie’ was coined.  When it came out it was truly a phenomenon, one most people who did not experience it can never truly appreciate.  My parents were no less caught up in the feeding frenzy of the movie’s release than anyone else.  At the time it was rated a solid PG (there was no PG-13), so taking elementary school children to see it was not a big deal.  After all, most Disney movies of the time were rated PG, weren’t they?  So along with a large contingent of my aunts and uncles, I was taken to see the movie that would strip me of all my eight-year old innocence and leave me strangely wanting more.

My mother shrugged off the initial shock of the opening scene; it was just an attention-getter, right?  Then the child being eaten off of his inflatable raft started her worrying about me.  When the head popped out of the boat, my mom literally threw her box of popcorn all over the row of people behind us; she apologized profusely while my dad laughed his head off.  My eyes were glued to the screen, what I could see of it between my tiny fingers.  By the time the ORCA launched to sea with its two unprepared passengers and doomed captain, my parents had forgotten I was there; everyone was entranced by the story.  By the time the greatest and most re-used horror movie joke of all time came, (“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”), the entire audience needed that release of nervous laughter.

Viewed today, Jaws is much more an adventure movie than a horror film.  Contrasted against the majority of horror films, the comedy of Jaws is heart-felt and sophisticated rather than flippant; the characters are dense and alive rather than stereotypical caricatures; the story is fun and adventurous rather than weighted and dark.  And for all those reasons (thank you Mr. Spielberg!) Jaws remains my earliest, most heartfelt and yes, one of my favorite ‘horror’ movies of all time.

Trilogy of Terror – Part 3 “Amelia” (Made for TV Movie)

It was a classic horror story setup: a babysitter, a dark night, a quiet house, a child in front of a television, a killer on the loose. Except, in this case, the babysitter was our next-door neighbor, the house was mine, the kid was me and the ‘killer’ was a little doll on television.  My parents were out, my sister was asleep and the babysitter let me watch whatever I wanted.  Which in the mid-seventies meant a horrifyingly narrow selection of channels, none of which had the potential for cable profanity or pay-per-view violence.

However, on that fateful night, as I sat in front of the television a bright-eyed eight year-old, I watched a movie that I honestly believe to this day physically altered my DNA.  Trilogy of Terror was a made for television movie containing three short stories, all starring Karen Black in varying and un-related roles.  The first two I can honestly say I have no memory of whatsoever.  I’ve since read about them in IMDB and Wikipedia, but I can’t picture any of it in my head.

The third story, however, I remember in vivid detail.

A woman buys a gift for her boyfriend; a Zuni fetish doll with a gold chain around its neck and a warning.  If the chain comes off, the doll will come to life.  Of course, the chain came off, the doll came to life, and the ensuing fight for survival within the small apartment left me breathless and terrified.  The angry patter of tiny feet throughout the apartment, the monster unseen by the viewer, was brilliant.  I put all of my G.I. Joe action figures and army men in my closet, inside a shoebox, then put a small chair in front of my closet door, but I still didn’t sleep a wink that night.  The image of Karen Black crouching down in a dark corner bearing the doll’s sharp teeth still makes me shudder.

Sure, it was kitschy. But it was also scary as hell.

The Shining (Novel & Movie)

I read my first Stephen King novel in the summer of 1979, a paperback of The Stand.  It was long and brutal and opened up my adolescent mind to all sort of things I had never heard or dreamed of before.  It was good, but it didn’t really scare me.  There were people and events in it that were big and apocalyptic and scary, and I got all of that, but they didn’t creep me out or make me want to hide under my bed.  My second King novel, Salem’s Lot, was also good but didn’t really scare me, either.  Then I read Carrie, which creeped me out, and then I read The Shining, and I was blown away.  The slow burn of the Jack Torrance character from out-of-work recovering alcoholic to raging failure seeking vengeance on the world is a thing of beauty and horror.

All of King’s powers as a storyteller of horror and tragedy come to bear in The Shining.  The huge hotel, empty of people but full of their tragedies, claws its way out of every page, and the Torrances in the novel are among King’s more well-conceived and believable characters.

As far as the movie goes, well, I have to admit that I’m not a big Stanley Kubrick fan.  I respect 2001: A Space Odyssey for its vision, but I don’t particularly care for the movie itself.  A Clockwork Orange wasn’t my cup of tea, and Eyes Wide Shut made me want to shut my own.  But The Shining was nearly as brilliant as the book, despite the changes to the plot and devices and the difference in feel from King’s book to Kubrick’s film.  As a horror movie, it stands firmly on its own.  The movie captured perfectly not only the demise of the man inside Jack Torrance but also the eerie hotel, the crazy loneliness of the long, cold winter, and the strain on the family that the hotel creates.  Despite decades of stand-out horror films ever since, from Paranormal Activity to Scream, for my dollar The Shining is still among the best horror movies ever made.  It’s not the best (IMO), however, as that title belongs to another film from the Seventies…

The Exorcist (Movie)

I’m not one for slasher movies, or serial killer movies, or vengeful spirit movies.  The first Friday the 13th wasn’t bad, nor was the first Nightmare on Elm Street, but all that followed were tired re-treads of the same old idea: a supernatural killer that you can’t stop who wants to kill you and all of your friends.  Lots of blood, lots of deaths, lots of shock.  Lots of yawning, IMO.

Then there’s The Exorcist, the horrifying movie from William Friedken that set the bar, that made you think, that grabbed you by your heart and made you really, emotionally believe in Hell.  Statistics (and opinions) vary, but The Exorcist was arguably the first movie after Gone with the Wind to gross over $100 million in its initial box office run, and its psychological impact is still rarely matched even in modern times.  You have to experience it to believe it.

I know that for me, as a struggling young man with questions about everything, it shook my faith in my beliefs about the larger world around me.  That’s the thing about well-crafted characters and dialogue; once you buy in to those people and their world, you buy into their problems and their actions, and then you are affected by what affects them, whether on the surface you find it particularly believable or not.  I used to tell people, when they asked, that The Exorcist was my favorite movie of all time.  After years and years of odd looks, I began replying Reservoir Dogs, The Empire Strikes Back, or, more recently, The Lord of the Rings.  All three of which are in my Top 5.

But I always smile when I think of the chills I got from watching adorable little Regan MacNeil in all of her pea soup-spewing, head-spinning glory.

DOOM & DOOM 3 (Video Games)

When DOOM originally came out in the early 90s it created a sensation throughout the entire video game industry for its unprecedented software engine, evolutionary 3D rendering, and take-no-prisoners play style.  It was derided by parental groups for its depiction of blood and carnage, and use of the word ‘demon’ to describe most of the player’s enemies and for the fact that you could play in the previously unheard of mode of ‘Deathmatch’, which virtually every other first-person shooter has implemented since.

Of course, all of these advances in rendering technology and gameplay chutzpah overshadowed one of DOOM’s best qualities: a game that was truly scary as hell.  Forerunners in the ‘horror’ video game department were admirable, most notably the ‘Alone in the Dark’ and ‘Resident Evil’ series.  But whereas Alone relied heavily on psychological horror and RE on stock horror movie themes, DOOM delivered something new.

The lighting was dark, shot through with spotlights and spinning emergency lights right out of Alien; the monsters popped up out of nowhere and chomped on your character with gleeful abandon; and nothing, I mean NOTHING compared to being extremely hurt, low on ammunition, and hiding in a dark corner with hungry alien/demons prowling around just a few feet away.  Playing at night with low-lighting and headphones on, DOOM is more an experience than just a game.

A rash of copy-cats and money-making follow-ups came flowing forth, all adding their own little bits to the new genre and making advances in lighting, sound, and graphics engine technology.  None could knock the original from its perch, however.  Then, in 2004 the makers of DOOM came out with DOOM3, a completely re-vamped gaming engine with even scarier-looking monsters and genuine leap-out-of-your seat moments than any other game in the medium.  The story was nothing special, and the game-play was not ground-breaking enough for the die-hards, but the game sure kept me jumping and looking frantically around my bedroom whenever I played it.

The Exorcist III (Movie)

Little seen, under-appreciated, and largely panned by critics and audiences who had given up after the absolutely terrible trash of The Exorcist II: The Heretic, I loved this movie.  It’s doubtful that anyone else will even consider it on any Top-Anything list, but it worked for me.

It ignores the second installment of the Exorcist movies completely and places itself as a sequel to the original classic.  George C. Scott plays a detective who was friends with Father Damien Karras of the original movie, and is currently investigating a series of murders in Georgetown where The Exorcist took place.  The film draws from the original, having been written and directed by William Peter Blatty, author of the original Exorcist novel.  Despite the studio-mandated addition of an exorcism near the end of the movie, where none existed in the screenplay or Blatty’s novel Legion on which the movie was based, and despite the complex plot of demonic revenge against both the catholic church and an abusive father, there are scenes in the film that horrify, and the reconciliation between old friends, one dead and one alive, is a satisfying end to the movie.

There are scarier movies out there, however much I loved this one, and one of the best that came out around ten years later was…

The Ring (Movie)

As previously mentioned, I don’t particularly like revenge spirit movies, but The Ring was so much more than that.  It was a mystery movie as well, as the mother races against the clock to save not only herself but her son from the supernatural killer that no one can stop.  Much like The Exorcist, the fact that the spirit was a little girl made it all the scarier.

The video tape within the movie is a neat twist as well, creepy on its own and adding to the subtle nuance of the movie’s overall disturbing nature.  It doesn’t come right out and scare most of the time, though those moments are there, too.  But the little things all add up; the short film, the father’s ranch, the fly coming out of the film, the horse’s reaction to our heroine.  The movie is more disturbing than out-right scary, which just makes it all the more horrifying.

The Road (Novel)

Cormac McCarthy’s The Road was unexpected recommendation from a friend, not something I knew much about or was really jazzed about reading.  And it hit me square in the gut.  The Pulitzer Prize winning book is a lonely, desolate tale of a nameless father and son struggling to survive in a savage, hopeless post-apocalyptic world.  I identified myself so strongly with the father character that when he would make a bad decision I felt personally guilty.  I saw in the son my own son, completely dependent upon his father to provide him food, shelter, and protection from the horrible people crawling the ashen landscape.

That novel stuck with me for months after I read it in a way that no book ever has.  Movies are visual and visceral, images stick with us for years or even our whole lives, but books generally do not have that affect.  I have always heard people talk about being ‘haunted’ by something; a movie, a book, a chance encounter.  Having been a horror fan since birth, I always thought of the expression in the literal sense, and largely dismissed those notions as silly and melodramatic.

After The Road, however, I understood what that really meant.

McCarthy spun a tale at once so deceptively simple and unbelievably complex, so innocent and so wicked, so hopeless and yet so rooted in the need for hope, that it’s mesmerizing.  Some parts made me physically squirm, and not in the good-to-be-scared way.  Nor did I want to finish it because it was exciting or thrilling; actually, there are long portions of the novel where not much at all happens, and then when something does it’s kind of… plain.  Simple, even.

When I first saw No Country for Old Men, based upon another McCarthy novel of the same name, I spent the first half of the movie trying to figure out why there wasn’t more action in it.  Once I settled back to the understanding that the guns were just metaphors, and the movie itself wasn’t about money, or greed, or even good and evil, I was able to focus on the dialogue.  Re-watching it, I now appreciate all of the interplay between the characters; the slow, steady, knowing march of Anton Chigur and the moral decay of western civilization that he represents; the lament of the older lawmen who just can’t understand that the people they have sworn to protect have abused that security by evolving into the very things that the lawmen held at bay.  “The rising tide,” one of them called it. “The dismal tide.”

The savagery and violence of the novel The Road, when it does appear, does so in the same vein.  It’s not the focus of the story, it’s just part of life, not actions but rather the consequences of actions or inactions.  For good or ill, it has its place.  To be fair, I have to say that my wife read The Road and she didn’t particularly care for it.

But then, she’s not a father struggling to protect his innocent child against the dismal tide.

Paranormal Activity (Movie)

I pride myself on being able to predict where movies are going, what’s going to happen to the characters, which ‘type’ of story it is and how it will end, and what details are provided that play into the movie later on.  And for Paranormal Activity, this was mostly the case.  The low budget and low quality of The Blair Witch Project left me wanting; wanting something better from that type of movie.  I was disappointed in that effort to say the least, so when the buzz started up about Paranormal I was frankly not interested.  Recent offerings in the horror genre like the Saw series, Hostel and the recent slew of vampire movies left me wondering if there was anything that would really scare me again.

I sat through the first three quarters of this movie and was only slightly impressed.  It was a neat take on the haunted story, had some clever ideas, and the night-time recordings of the goings on in the couple’s bedroom was ingenious and carried a few frights with it.

However, it was the last ten minutes of the movie that landed it on my personal Top 10 list.  The end of the movie kept me guessing, and when the loud footsteps climb the stairway the last time… and what follows… made me leap off of my seat for the first time in years.  If you haven’t seen it, and want to be scared, you should definitely give it a try.

Review by Art Schmidt

I dig summer shows. I like the trend the last several years of having a small set of summer shows on television that are quirky, different, and give you something to do on the few (!) days you aren’t out biking, vacationing, lounging by the pool or sizzling at the beach. And few summer shows since Monk debuted have grabbed my attention the way Falling Skies did.

As for the premise of this TNT series, which ran for ten episodes through the summer, it has some promise. The series starts approximately six months after the invasion, and the aliens have already kicked a large portion of the world’s ass. I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed when first learning about this, after all what’s an Earth Invasion story without the invasion part! But really, we’ve already had this past year Battle L.A. (standard alien army invasion), the newly re-spun V (standard aliens subverting human society from within), Super 8 (standard kids find aliens and save earth/it/both), and the Death Eaters invading Hogwarts (non-standard AWESOME!!!). So, I guess we’ve seen enough invading to slake that thirst for a while. Besides, the departure from the norm hinted at the potential of something new and innovative, and I bought in.

As far as standard science-fiction goes, it has several of my favorite sci-fi elements in it. Let’s go down the list, shall we?

1. Aliens Invade Earth? Check! A staple of mass-market science-fiction fare since its birth in the 1940s, this plot device comes chock-full of good, accessible dramatic elements.

– Humans being killed and persecuted? We humans can relate!

– Fighting against Earth’s military? Hey, we know someone who’s actually in that military!

– Taking over an Earth city? Hey, we ate at the Chili’s in that city once!

– Aliens blowing up famous landmarks? We know their significance and feel some emotion when they crumble (at least, we used to before ID4 and the host of movies that followed it blew up every major landmark known to man on a near-constant basis).

Irrelevant Tangent Warning: If ‘Blockbuster-Demolition-Fatigue’ isn’t already a term, then I just coined it. “What’s the matter, dude?” “Major BDF man.” “Bummer dude.” It even sounds like a mildly uncomfortable disease. Copyright 2011 🙂

BTW, you won’t get demo-fatigue from Falling Skies. If anything, there is a lack of combat and a deference for the human drama of the situation (more on that later). Just when you think there is going to be a big firefight or a confrontation with armed aliens, it doesn’t happen (like I said, more on that later). And then, when the humans argue amongst themselves, you might expect more bloodshed. But again, things are left un-resolved (Hey! I said more on that later!) Fine, Mister Bossypants.

2. Futuristic Weapons and Gizmos? Check! The alien invaders do not have hand-held weapons as we’ve come to expect; however, they have mechanical bi-pedal robots that escort them around and pack an enormous amount of firepower. They reminded me of the ED-209 from Robocop, but more sinister-looking and taller. Another departure from the norm, and after all, that’s what makes good Sci-Fi! At least, it’s a good start. The aliens also have biological devices that they use to control Earth children, as well, which the humans call ‘harnesses’, and this gives the aliens a form of telepathic control over the wearer. Oh, and one of their ‘mother ships’ landed in the middle of downtown Boston, and we’re told similar massive ships landed in most other major cities world-wide.

They serve as a base of operations for the Skitters and the airships, but what else are they for? What goes on inside? No one knows (yet)! Pretty cool stuff.

3. Space travel? Well, given that the series follows the Earth-bound human remnants who barely have working internal-combustion engine vehicles, there hasn’t been anything going on in space. Yet. However, given the cliffhanger ending (NO SPOILER) we may see some next season. ‘Nuff said.

4. Hot chicks? Check! Sorry, I meant highly intelligent, self-sufficient, alien-butt-kicking women who also happen to be attractive. Let’s face it, the guys in these things can look like average joes and they’re fine as long as they have a gun or can use a keyboard, but the gals have to be attractive. Seven-of-Nine. Number Six. Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher. Zoe and Kaylee. Starbuck. Even President Roslin (a.k.a. First Lady Whitmore) qualifies as a cougar. Admiral Cain and Kendra Shaw, Replicants Rachael and Pris; the list goes on.

Falling Skies has done its part to keep the stereotype alive, casting not two but three very nice looking young ladies in the three female lead and supporting roles.

Moon Bloodgood (Terminator: Salvation, Burn Notice) is the militia unit’s resident doctor and main love interest of our hero, Tom Mason, played by an uncomfortably-scruffy Noah Wyle (ER, The Librarian TV movies, Donnie Darko). Sarah Carter (Shark TV series, Final Destination 2) plays Maggie, the standard tough-as-nails gun-toting chick with a chip on her shoulder and a secret past. And finally Seychelle Gabriel (The Last Airbender, The Spirit) plays the young Lourdes, assistant to the (Blood)good doctor in her duties, and with a secret crush on Hal Mason, Tom Mason’s oldest son played by Drew Roy (Secretariat, Hanna Montana TV series).

Plenty of drama abounds with these characters and the male leads, which brings us to…

5. Human drama? Check, but with an asterisk. We all know that shiny space ships, flashing lasers and leather-clad women will only keep an audience’s interest for so long. There has to be something going on with the characters other than fighting and dying. And that’s where Falling Skies starts to go amiss. All of the building blocks appear to be in place for some good human drama. The aliens are kidnapping children, some of whom belong to the folks in our little band of survivors, and the aliens are turning them into slaves. There is a small militia group protecting a larger civilian group who want more freedom and better conditions; the militia leadership is keeping the best for themselves. There are good guys and there are not-so-good guys, like the aptly-named John Pope, the self-centered opportunist with the potential for a heart of gold played well by Colin Cunningham (Stargate: SG-1, Elektra) who loves nothing more than devising ways to kill the ‘cooties’, as he calls the aliens.

Irrelevant Tangent Warning: Note to the Writers: Please stop making Pope call the aliens ‘cooties’. It’s not funny or cute after the first time. It makes Pope’s character who has otherwise shown himself to be quite clever and cunning suddenly seem like a third-grade drop-out. Then again, ‘Skitters’ isn’t much better…

Then there’s the leader of the 2nd Mass, Captain Weaver played by Will Patton (Armageddon, The Postman, Remember the Titans). The character has so much of the semi-crazy my-way-or-the-highway military man in him that it makes the few times he softens up (assisting in a breech birth!) seem weird and uncomfortable.

Like all new shows, the series is trying to find its footing, figure out what works for these characters and their strange situation and what doesn’t, and where they can take things that is fascinating and new without being strange and unwatchable. And they’ve stumbled a few times, and succeeded a few more, and I’m definitely tuning in next summer to see where things go from here. But the one major issue that ran through the entire first season is that there is no real sense of danger or urgency about the characters or their activities. They talk like the aliens are bad-ass, they conquered every country and every military on the planet, but you just don’t feel any of that fear, any of that menace.

Sure, when the aliens show up they fight and run, but when there are no aliens on screen the characters almost act as if the aliens can’t show up. They aren’t on edge, and though they walk briskly from place to place they don’t seem to understand that ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD! That’s the one major thing that has bothered me since the second episode; the characters don’t act like they are in near-constant danger of being captured or killed. It’s as if the aliens are in the city, and the humans are in the country, and that’s just fine with everyone. The civilians, the militia, everyone; they all just seem like things are hunky-dory and they’ll go attack the aliens when they’re good and ready.

In the last episode (MINOR SPOILER ALERT!) Mason and Weaver are standing inside Boston, alone and on foot, looking up at the aliens’ mother ship / headquarters. Mason aims an RPG at one of the smaller airships and hits it; an RPG which is not heat-seeking nor remote-guided, by the way. The damaged ship crashes into the mother ship and explosions begin inside of it. Two guys, alone, standing on the street where any alien could easily pop their heads off. Attacking the larger-than-an-aircraft-carrier mother ship. With an RPG. And they only had the one rocket.

I thought for a moment I was back in 1993 playing Doom on my 486 PC. I cringed as the characters laughed, and the explosions continued for a few seconds. Thankfully, the entire structure did not come crashing to the ground, because I would have immediately put a permanent block on my DVR for anything with the term ‘Falling Skies’ in it. Luckily, the show saved itself, at least in my eyes.

And yet, the two characters continued to stand there, smiling and talking about how they gave the aliens something to remember. As they did so, I thought about how the U.S. military would have immediately dispatched Apache attack helicopters full of armed marines to trace the smoke trail of that RPG back to its source and eliminate the enemy within minutes, if not seconds. You know, the U.S. military that these aliens over-powered with their even-more-advanced technology and weapons.

The one thing Falling Skies desperately needs in its sophomore season is someone running around screaming “The Sky is Falling! The SKY is FALLING!!” I’m no chef, but the producers might try throwing a little chicken in with all of that ham.