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Tag Archive: Paranormal Activity


The Witch screencap

WELCOME TO EARTH-4

A Column by J. Torrey McClain

I saw The Witch last week and I got a few true scares.  I also felt a little sleepy at a few points due to a big meal beforehand, poor sleep hygiene at the moment and possibly, possibly, due to the movie and its time period.  It has made me wonder, when in the history, present and future of the universe is the best setting for horror?

I’ve written before on horror in the future when I looked at A Walk in the Dark by Arthur C. Clarke.  (I won’t make myself shudder by mentioning spooky little girls again.)  As I wrote about in that essay, the compelling element of that story came from its application to any time period.  The dark scares us.  The dark scared us.  The dark will continue to scare us.

The future can be scary in its own period as any watching or re-watching of Alien can stir up the tension and fear of meeting with the unknown on the fringes of space.  If not a xenomorph, maybe it’s the weeping angels of “Blink” or the Vashta Nerada of “Silence in the Library” from Doctor Who that get you.  The future combines the unknown of our nightmares with the familiarity of the present (video stores, libraries, kitchens) set in just enough of a different place to make it believable.  When won’t we have libraries?  (In the presence of eBooks, after Netflix all but eliminated video stores, I maybe should have kept that question to myself.)  When won’t we gather with others to eat?  When won’t we watch video entertainment?

video store x

The present scares me because I can insert myself into the world of self-documentation like in The Blair Witch Project or the world of the omnipresence of cameras in the various Paranormal Activity movies.  As I type, someone could be scoping me as I scrutinize my screen, attired in a Kingdom Come Superman shirt.  Properly spooked, I may throw in the towel on this essay, go to my bed, open my Spanish language-learning app and get watched through the camera on my phone.  I could put the phone face down and still not solve the possibility of someone watching me through the rear-facing camera as I crack open one of those library books that pedants might argue as far-fetched.

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Bates Motel

That’s right, Halloween is almost here.  This year we’ve been able to obtain an interview with one of the best horror writers around.  Who will it be?  Check back here on Halloween for a special borg.com interview.

For many, this week means tracking down spooky shows on Netflix, cable, or in the theaters.  Back in 2011 the four borg.com writers posted each of their top favorite Halloween flicks.  Since 2011 new films that fit the genre continue to be made, like The Woman in Black reviewed here last year, but there was also a few to skip, like Johnny Depp in Dark Shadows and John Cusack in The RavenThis year we were impressed by the totally fun and totally watchable Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, and the over-the-top but fun Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.  There are plenty of opportunities to get your fix of dark, spooky, creepy, or just plain scary movies.

ALVH-217 - Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) and his vampire-battling mentor Henry Sturgis (Dominic Cooper) plan their next move during a fateful battle with the undead.

One film available on Netflix we haven’t reviewed yet here at borg.com is 2009’s Orphan, which should appeal to fans of The Others and Skeleton KeyOrphan stars Bates Motel’s Vera Farmiga and Skeleton Key’s Peter Sarsgaard as a couple adopting a third child into their family, played by the brilliant young actress Isabelle Furhman.  It also features Warehouse 13’s CCH Pounder and Genelle Williams–both as nuns.  Orphan is excellently creepy and an all-around good thriller worth checking out.  And speaking of Vera Farmiga, if you haven’t been watching Bates Motel, you should.  It’s a great creepy spin-off of Hitchcock’s Psycho, and Season 1 is available now on DVD and Blu-ray from Amazon.com.

Orphan movie - creepy little girl

Here is the link to our Halloween movie series from 2011 where you can view all of our recommendations.  Some of the staples of Halloween horror did not make our lists, like Friday the 13th, Halloween, Saw, Scream, The Omen, Rosemary’s Baby, Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, or Amityville Horror.   Jaws got our joint highest ranking, making three of our lists, and The Shining, The Exorcist, The Exorcist 3, Watcher in the Woods, The Ring, and Paranormal Activity seem to rise above the rest, showing up on two lists.  Seaside locales were the favorite location for scares, with Jaws, Rebecca, The Birds, The Ring, The Fog (both the original and remake) all taking place there, and creepy little girls are the favorite subject of–count ‘em–NINE of our haunts (The Ring, The Exorcist, Let Me In, Paranormal Activity 3, Watcher in the Woods, The Sixth Sense, The Shining, Turn of the Screw, and The Others). And we can now add Orphan and The Woman in Black to that creepy assembly.  (We Are What We Are was due out this year–another creepy little girl story, but it’s only been released in the UK so far).  For us the supernatural won out over monsters, saws and axes.  Four movies were by John Carpenter, three by Alfred Hitchcock.  The oldest movie was Rebecca from 1940, the newest came out in 2011, Paranormal Activity 3And look, we’ve got another one of those available now, too.

Happy Halloween watching, and don’t forget to come back to see what we have in store Thursday!

C.J. Bunce
Editor
borg.com

By Art Schmidt

People are funny.  Different things mean different things to us all: songs, pictures, movies, books.  Art.  It’s all interpreted by the individual, but even more so by the place in life that the individual is in at the time the art is experienced.  People cling to old songs like gold; a song from high school not only sounds good, but refreshes the happy memories associated with the song in the listener’s mind.  A one-hit wonder band from the mid-eighties may have written the best song you’ve ever heard, but no one else even remembers who they were.

Fans of the original Star Wars Trilogy of the 70s were appalled when Lucas made his infamous modifications to the film, especially the scene in the Tatooine bar in Episode IV where Han Solo shoots Greedo.  ‘Artistic license,’ said Lucas.  ‘Blasphemy,’ the fans screamed.  ‘My movie,’ Lucas retorted.  ‘Our childhood!’, the fans wailed.

Halloween always brings out the focus on all things macabre, and will generate ‘Top 10’ lists as long as kids dress up as Darth Vader and adults go to costume parties as politicians (there’s a moral lesson in there somewhere, BTW.  I am sure of it).  Every Top 10 list is different, and that’s the way it should be.  We all experience things in our own way, our own time, and through our own filters.  So rather than attempt to list an absolute ‘Top’ 10, predestined for failure, I have listed my own personal favorites.  Doubtless others will have vastly different opinions, and some of the things I found terrifying may have barely elicited a small gasp from others.

And that’s ok.

My personal list is not in order of preference or fondness but rather experience, from my earliest memory to the present day.  Obviously, my early years contain the larger amount of my personal favorites; the younger we are the more accepting we are of the impossible and the more susceptible to suggestion, therefore media designed to have a strong emotional impact will generally be felt more so by the young.  After all, you can only read a Stephen King novel for the first time, or watch Jaws without knowing what’s going to happen once.

Which of course leads me to one of the stories on most people’s lists…

Jaws (Movie)

The movie that changed movies, the blockbuster that defined blockbusters, the summer event movie on which the term ‘summer event movie’ was coined.  When it came out it was truly a phenomenon, one most people who did not experience it can never truly appreciate.  My parents were no less caught up in the feeding frenzy of the movie’s release than anyone else.  At the time it was rated a solid PG (there was no PG-13), so taking elementary school children to see it was not a big deal.  After all, most Disney movies of the time were rated PG, weren’t they?  So along with a large contingent of my aunts and uncles, I was taken to see the movie that would strip me of all my eight-year old innocence and leave me strangely wanting more.

My mother shrugged off the initial shock of the opening scene; it was just an attention-getter, right?  Then the child being eaten off of his inflatable raft started her worrying about me.  When the head popped out of the boat, my mom literally threw her box of popcorn all over the row of people behind us; she apologized profusely while my dad laughed his head off.  My eyes were glued to the screen, what I could see of it between my tiny fingers.  By the time the ORCA launched to sea with its two unprepared passengers and doomed captain, my parents had forgotten I was there; everyone was entranced by the story.  By the time the greatest and most re-used horror movie joke of all time came, (“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”), the entire audience needed that release of nervous laughter.

Viewed today, Jaws is much more an adventure movie than a horror film.  Contrasted against the majority of horror films, the comedy of Jaws is heart-felt and sophisticated rather than flippant; the characters are dense and alive rather than stereotypical caricatures; the story is fun and adventurous rather than weighted and dark.  And for all those reasons (thank you Mr. Spielberg!) Jaws remains my earliest, most heartfelt and yes, one of my favorite ‘horror’ movies of all time.

Trilogy of Terror – Part 3 “Amelia” (Made for TV Movie)

It was a classic horror story setup: a babysitter, a dark night, a quiet house, a child in front of a television, a killer on the loose. Except, in this case, the babysitter was our next-door neighbor, the house was mine, the kid was me and the ‘killer’ was a little doll on television.  My parents were out, my sister was asleep and the babysitter let me watch whatever I wanted.  Which in the mid-seventies meant a horrifyingly narrow selection of channels, none of which had the potential for cable profanity or pay-per-view violence.

However, on that fateful night, as I sat in front of the television a bright-eyed eight year-old, I watched a movie that I honestly believe to this day physically altered my DNA.  Trilogy of Terror was a made for television movie containing three short stories, all starring Karen Black in varying and un-related roles.  The first two I can honestly say I have no memory of whatsoever.  I’ve since read about them in IMDB and Wikipedia, but I can’t picture any of it in my head.

The third story, however, I remember in vivid detail.

A woman buys a gift for her boyfriend; a Zuni fetish doll with a gold chain around its neck and a warning.  If the chain comes off, the doll will come to life.  Of course, the chain came off, the doll came to life, and the ensuing fight for survival within the small apartment left me breathless and terrified.  The angry patter of tiny feet throughout the apartment, the monster unseen by the viewer, was brilliant.  I put all of my G.I. Joe action figures and army men in my closet, inside a shoebox, then put a small chair in front of my closet door, but I still didn’t sleep a wink that night.  The image of Karen Black crouching down in a dark corner bearing the doll’s sharp teeth still makes me shudder.

Sure, it was kitschy. But it was also scary as hell.

The Shining (Novel & Movie)

I read my first Stephen King novel in the summer of 1979, a paperback of The Stand.  It was long and brutal and opened up my adolescent mind to all sort of things I had never heard or dreamed of before.  It was good, but it didn’t really scare me.  There were people and events in it that were big and apocalyptic and scary, and I got all of that, but they didn’t creep me out or make me want to hide under my bed.  My second King novel, Salem’s Lot, was also good but didn’t really scare me, either.  Then I read Carrie, which creeped me out, and then I read The Shining, and I was blown away.  The slow burn of the Jack Torrance character from out-of-work recovering alcoholic to raging failure seeking vengeance on the world is a thing of beauty and horror.

All of King’s powers as a storyteller of horror and tragedy come to bear in The Shining.  The huge hotel, empty of people but full of their tragedies, claws its way out of every page, and the Torrances in the novel are among King’s more well-conceived and believable characters.

As far as the movie goes, well, I have to admit that I’m not a big Stanley Kubrick fan.  I respect 2001: A Space Odyssey for its vision, but I don’t particularly care for the movie itself.  A Clockwork Orange wasn’t my cup of tea, and Eyes Wide Shut made me want to shut my own.  But The Shining was nearly as brilliant as the book, despite the changes to the plot and devices and the difference in feel from King’s book to Kubrick’s film.  As a horror movie, it stands firmly on its own.  The movie captured perfectly not only the demise of the man inside Jack Torrance but also the eerie hotel, the crazy loneliness of the long, cold winter, and the strain on the family that the hotel creates.  Despite decades of stand-out horror films ever since, from Paranormal Activity to Scream, for my dollar The Shining is still among the best horror movies ever made.  It’s not the best (IMO), however, as that title belongs to another film from the Seventies…

The Exorcist (Movie)

I’m not one for slasher movies, or serial killer movies, or vengeful spirit movies.  The first Friday the 13th wasn’t bad, nor was the first Nightmare on Elm Street, but all that followed were tired re-treads of the same old idea: a supernatural killer that you can’t stop who wants to kill you and all of your friends.  Lots of blood, lots of deaths, lots of shock.  Lots of yawning, IMO.

Then there’s The Exorcist, the horrifying movie from William Friedken that set the bar, that made you think, that grabbed you by your heart and made you really, emotionally believe in Hell.  Statistics (and opinions) vary, but The Exorcist was arguably the first movie after Gone with the Wind to gross over $100 million in its initial box office run, and its psychological impact is still rarely matched even in modern times.  You have to experience it to believe it.

I know that for me, as a struggling young man with questions about everything, it shook my faith in my beliefs about the larger world around me.  That’s the thing about well-crafted characters and dialogue; once you buy in to those people and their world, you buy into their problems and their actions, and then you are affected by what affects them, whether on the surface you find it particularly believable or not.  I used to tell people, when they asked, that The Exorcist was my favorite movie of all time.  After years and years of odd looks, I began replying Reservoir Dogs, The Empire Strikes Back, or, more recently, The Lord of the Rings.  All three of which are in my Top 5.

But I always smile when I think of the chills I got from watching adorable little Regan MacNeil in all of her pea soup-spewing, head-spinning glory.

DOOM & DOOM 3 (Video Games)

When DOOM originally came out in the early 90s it created a sensation throughout the entire video game industry for its unprecedented software engine, evolutionary 3D rendering, and take-no-prisoners play style.  It was derided by parental groups for its depiction of blood and carnage, and use of the word ‘demon’ to describe most of the player’s enemies and for the fact that you could play in the previously unheard of mode of ‘Deathmatch’, which virtually every other first-person shooter has implemented since.

Of course, all of these advances in rendering technology and gameplay chutzpah overshadowed one of DOOM’s best qualities: a game that was truly scary as hell.  Forerunners in the ‘horror’ video game department were admirable, most notably the ‘Alone in the Dark’ and ‘Resident Evil’ series.  But whereas Alone relied heavily on psychological horror and RE on stock horror movie themes, DOOM delivered something new.

The lighting was dark, shot through with spotlights and spinning emergency lights right out of Alien; the monsters popped up out of nowhere and chomped on your character with gleeful abandon; and nothing, I mean NOTHING compared to being extremely hurt, low on ammunition, and hiding in a dark corner with hungry alien/demons prowling around just a few feet away.  Playing at night with low-lighting and headphones on, DOOM is more an experience than just a game.

A rash of copy-cats and money-making follow-ups came flowing forth, all adding their own little bits to the new genre and making advances in lighting, sound, and graphics engine technology.  None could knock the original from its perch, however.  Then, in 2004 the makers of DOOM came out with DOOM3, a completely re-vamped gaming engine with even scarier-looking monsters and genuine leap-out-of-your seat moments than any other game in the medium.  The story was nothing special, and the game-play was not ground-breaking enough for the die-hards, but the game sure kept me jumping and looking frantically around my bedroom whenever I played it.

The Exorcist III (Movie)

Little seen, under-appreciated, and largely panned by critics and audiences who had given up after the absolutely terrible trash of The Exorcist II: The Heretic, I loved this movie.  It’s doubtful that anyone else will even consider it on any Top-Anything list, but it worked for me.

It ignores the second installment of the Exorcist movies completely and places itself as a sequel to the original classic.  George C. Scott plays a detective who was friends with Father Damien Karras of the original movie, and is currently investigating a series of murders in Georgetown where The Exorcist took place.  The film draws from the original, having been written and directed by William Peter Blatty, author of the original Exorcist novel.  Despite the studio-mandated addition of an exorcism near the end of the movie, where none existed in the screenplay or Blatty’s novel Legion on which the movie was based, and despite the complex plot of demonic revenge against both the catholic church and an abusive father, there are scenes in the film that horrify, and the reconciliation between old friends, one dead and one alive, is a satisfying end to the movie.

There are scarier movies out there, however much I loved this one, and one of the best that came out around ten years later was…

The Ring (Movie)

As previously mentioned, I don’t particularly like revenge spirit movies, but The Ring was so much more than that.  It was a mystery movie as well, as the mother races against the clock to save not only herself but her son from the supernatural killer that no one can stop.  Much like The Exorcist, the fact that the spirit was a little girl made it all the scarier.

The video tape within the movie is a neat twist as well, creepy on its own and adding to the subtle nuance of the movie’s overall disturbing nature.  It doesn’t come right out and scare most of the time, though those moments are there, too.  But the little things all add up; the short film, the father’s ranch, the fly coming out of the film, the horse’s reaction to our heroine.  The movie is more disturbing than out-right scary, which just makes it all the more horrifying.

The Road (Novel)

Cormac McCarthy’s The Road was unexpected recommendation from a friend, not something I knew much about or was really jazzed about reading.  And it hit me square in the gut.  The Pulitzer Prize winning book is a lonely, desolate tale of a nameless father and son struggling to survive in a savage, hopeless post-apocalyptic world.  I identified myself so strongly with the father character that when he would make a bad decision I felt personally guilty.  I saw in the son my own son, completely dependent upon his father to provide him food, shelter, and protection from the horrible people crawling the ashen landscape.

That novel stuck with me for months after I read it in a way that no book ever has.  Movies are visual and visceral, images stick with us for years or even our whole lives, but books generally do not have that affect.  I have always heard people talk about being ‘haunted’ by something; a movie, a book, a chance encounter.  Having been a horror fan since birth, I always thought of the expression in the literal sense, and largely dismissed those notions as silly and melodramatic.

After The Road, however, I understood what that really meant.

McCarthy spun a tale at once so deceptively simple and unbelievably complex, so innocent and so wicked, so hopeless and yet so rooted in the need for hope, that it’s mesmerizing.  Some parts made me physically squirm, and not in the good-to-be-scared way.  Nor did I want to finish it because it was exciting or thrilling; actually, there are long portions of the novel where not much at all happens, and then when something does it’s kind of… plain.  Simple, even.

When I first saw No Country for Old Men, based upon another McCarthy novel of the same name, I spent the first half of the movie trying to figure out why there wasn’t more action in it.  Once I settled back to the understanding that the guns were just metaphors, and the movie itself wasn’t about money, or greed, or even good and evil, I was able to focus on the dialogue.  Re-watching it, I now appreciate all of the interplay between the characters; the slow, steady, knowing march of Anton Chigur and the moral decay of western civilization that he represents; the lament of the older lawmen who just can’t understand that the people they have sworn to protect have abused that security by evolving into the very things that the lawmen held at bay.  “The rising tide,” one of them called it. “The dismal tide.”

The savagery and violence of the novel The Road, when it does appear, does so in the same vein.  It’s not the focus of the story, it’s just part of life, not actions but rather the consequences of actions or inactions.  For good or ill, it has its place.  To be fair, I have to say that my wife read The Road and she didn’t particularly care for it.

But then, she’s not a father struggling to protect his innocent child against the dismal tide.

Paranormal Activity (Movie)

I pride myself on being able to predict where movies are going, what’s going to happen to the characters, which ‘type’ of story it is and how it will end, and what details are provided that play into the movie later on.  And for Paranormal Activity, this was mostly the case.  The low budget and low quality of The Blair Witch Project left me wanting; wanting something better from that type of movie.  I was disappointed in that effort to say the least, so when the buzz started up about Paranormal I was frankly not interested.  Recent offerings in the horror genre like the Saw series, Hostel and the recent slew of vampire movies left me wondering if there was anything that would really scare me again.

I sat through the first three quarters of this movie and was only slightly impressed.  It was a neat take on the haunted story, had some clever ideas, and the night-time recordings of the goings on in the couple’s bedroom was ingenious and carried a few frights with it.

However, it was the last ten minutes of the movie that landed it on my personal Top 10 list.  The end of the movie kept me guessing, and when the loud footsteps climb the stairway the last time… and what follows… made me leap off of my seat for the first time in years.  If you haven’t seen it, and want to be scared, you should definitely give it a try.

By Jason McClain (@JTorreyMcClain)

Just like comedies, I find horror movies easy to judge.  For comedies, the question is, “Did the movie make me laugh?”  If yes, it was a good comedy.  The more laughs, the better.  For horror movies, the question is, “Did the movie scare me?”  If it is yes, then it is a good horror movie.  Now, there are “horror” movies that are good but aren’t scary.  In this category are some of the greats by Alfred Hitchcock (The Birds and Psycho come immediately to mind) as well as fun movies (Scream, Dawn of the Dead (the original and the remake) and Shaun of the Dead) that are enjoyable, but don’t raise the goose flesh on my arms or the back of my neck.

For me, the scare is usually not found in physical entities.  Zombies, well, you can devise a plan for zombies.  A lot of time it will fail, but you can come up with a plan.  Sit on a rooftop with boxes of ammunition.  Create distractions.  Run or drive really fast and don’t trip or crash into a tree.  Same for crazy people and homicidal maniacs like Jason Voorhees, Leatherface or Michael Myers.

However, what in the name of H.P. Lovecraft do you do about supernatural entities?  What can you do about things that are already dead and have no corporeal form so that you can at least shoot them in the head?  What can you do with things that can’t be touched but can hold you in the air by your own head of hair?

Well, you die and it’s not pretty when it happens.  But, before you die, your mind is filled with all the possible ways you could die, and dread lies around every corner.  You don’t want to move.  You don’t want to look around.  You want to sit, with your eyes closed and hope that all the bad things will go away.  They rarely do.

Of course, you can’t help but have exceptions in life and I’m sure you’ll figure out which movie it is in my list of my ten scariest horror movies.

10.  Drag Me to Hell

This movie is a bit different than most of the movies on my list.  In it, there are the supernatural dangers like most of the rest, but in this movie they come from an old crone.  Old crones are always trouble and they seem to like to curse people.  But, this kind of danger is easily avoidable.  Don’t talk to old people.

9.  Let Me In

Forgive me.  I have yet to see Let the Right One In, but I know that I liked this one and I can tell you why.  There’s something about creepy little girls that want to eat your soul that make me want to run and hide.  I think I just came up with the name of a movie I plan to write, “There’s Something About Creepy Little Girls.”  It will be a comedy/horror/romance for the tween crowd.

8. The Exorcist 3

One of the best scare moments ever in a movie happened in this one before it got talky.  As viewers, we were just looking at one of the characters with a hallway leading to a room in the background when all of the sudden, something dark spider-walks across the ceiling.  That image still makes me shudder.

7.  Jaws

You found the exception!  You win the fear of going into the deep end of a swimming pool where of course the sharks lurk.  I mean, they can’t survive in the shallow end of a pool, that would be silly.  As an added bonus, you get to wear a mask whenever you go snorkeling in the ocean that blocks your peripheral vision!  So, you’ll always want to look where you can’t see because that’s where the 50-foot shark will be.

Oh, Steven Spielberg, you’ve made swimmers afraid of any water for thirty-five years now.  Congratulations?

6.  Paranormal Activity

I think you either love these movies or hate them because they don’t offer much in the way of production quality.  But, when you spend only $15,000 on a movie, you don’t get much in the way of special effects.  That’s what makes this movie so beautiful.  Your imagination does all the work.  A couple of cameras filming different parts of the house and the filmmakers cut to one, cut to another, cut back to one and there is something changed.  It’s so subtle but immediately you question your senses.  Did I see that right?  How did that just happen?  Then you start to feel that something is off, the hairs on your neck start to rise and you wait.  The waiting allows the tension build and you scan every inch of the video to make sure you see everything and then a door creaks open.  The sound and motion of such an ordinary action all of the sudden fills you with such dread and even after the movie ends, that sound still makes you look around as you tell yourself that ghosts and demons don’t exist.  Do they?

5.  The Exorcist

The original creepy girl horror movie as Linda Blair talks like a demon, spider-walks across ceilings and hurls bile.  I would like to posit a theory: Chinese families subject to the one-child policy that the Chinese government enacted in 1978 wanted their one child to be male because they all saw this movie.

4.  Paranormal Activity 3

How do you improve on Paranormal Activity?  You set up a camera that oscillates.  So, it moves in a direction, everything is fine and then moves back and OHMYGOSH there’s something weird.  Then, every time that darn camera angle appears on screen you expect it to find scary stuff in the background.  When it doesn’t you can’t relax because you know it will the next time or the next time or the time after that.  Add on top of that two little daughters that like to talk to demons and say “Bloody Mary” three times in dark bathrooms and you have another movie with especially creepy girls.

3.  Paranormal Activity 2

How does the second Paranormal Activity top my list?  Well, the first just has a couple.  Adults generally should have enough sense to leave the house.  The third, as much as I liked it and as it added new tricks and creepy girls, still has a bit of the novelty gone.  That leaves the middle movie and the presence of a toddler that can’t talk and a dog.  My tip to you: if you ever see a dog freaking out at a closet, you’re probably royally screwed and you should just curl up in a ball and start crying.

2.  The Shining

The basis of my fear of creepy little girls is this Stanley Kubrick movie based on the Stephen King novel.  After I saw it, I dreamed of those damn twin girls asking Danny to come play.  So, when I hear guys with their scantily clad twin girl fantasies I nod and smile and try to keep myself from running out of the room screaming.  I also don’t know if I can really ever fully trust a bartender.

1.  The Blair Witch Project

Easily the scariest movie I’ve ever seen.  Why?  It’s the only movie that made me question every skeptical bone in my body.  I went to see this movie at a theater in Denver, Colorado.  The Mayan, I believe.  I had heard just a little about it and I saw it in a packed theater with a bunch of other people hanging on the edge of their seats.  I left the theater a bit scared and happy that I had a fantastic movie going experience.  I climbed into my car and started to drive.  Then it hit me.  I had planned to go camping that night in the Rocky Mountain National Park.  I was going to go and drive up there in the dark, find a secluded campsite, strap on my head lamp, set up my tent and somehow go to sleep all by myself as the sounds of the night closed in around me.  I thought about it. I thought about it again.  Ghosts don’t exist.  I kept telling myself there is no such thing as the Blair Witch.  Then, instead of driving for an hour and a half, I drove four hours to just go home and sleep behind four walls, making sure that no one was in my apartment standing in a corner.

So, the moral of the story: don’t plan on camping after watching scary movies and for the love of all that is holy, avoid creepy little girls like the plague.  How can you tell if they’re creepy?  I don’t know.  Just avoid them all.

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